story facts. (an oxymoron)

I was a senior in high school and got in my first fender-bender on the way to school.  I was turning left onto the road and another lady was turning right and BAM, we hit.  I still remember it to this day.  What I remember the most about that accident was that the officer interviewed the lady first and then came over to me and started writing out the ticket to me.  It was my fault.  I’ll take the blame.  It was an accident totally and that’s just a part of life. 

What I discovered was life isn’t fair.

The officer never bothered to ask me my side of the story, EVER.  He just wrote out the ticket and it was done.  I remember being upset, not that is was going down in history as my fault, but that he never even asked my side of the story. 

How many times do we make a conclusion about a person, situation or “story” without talking to that person directly or hearing both sides of the situation?  I admit I do it much more than I should.  This experience came back to my memory after I drew a conclusion about a situation without knowing all the facts.   How unfair that was.  Assuming can get you into a lot of trouble.  It can also make you look really, really silly. 

Whoops.

I’ve heard someone say “It’s easier to be the first to speak up than to defend something later.”  However, if you hear someone’s side of the story first it doesn’t make it the truth.  

We all know what it is like to be on the receiving end of being misjudged.  We all have been accused wrongly of something I’m sure.  It doesn’t feel the best. 

Love does not have to prove itself right.

Let them talk.  Don’t talk about them.

It amazes me how quick we believe something because we were told this is how it is.  One of the most important lessons I believe my parents taught me when it came to Christianity is to do my own research.  Don’t take any preacher’s word, youth pastor or guest speaker as “truth” without consulting The Truth.  Find that verse for yourself.  Dig and then dig some more.  “Be ready to give an answer for the hope that is within you.”  This doesn’t mean your Grandma’s hope or your Dad’s hope, but your OWN hope.  One of my new favorite lines from a book I read is “God doesn’t have any grandchildren, only children.”  

Investigate.  Do your research.

my hero

Esther is my girl.  She got it.  I hope to master it in every area of my life.  It's good to have goals at least, right? If there is one thing, and one thing only, I want my life legacy to be it would be this:

To only desire what the King desires.

I don’t just want to talk about it.  I don’t just want to desire it.  I want to live that way.

This takes practice……

I have begun evaluating my most cherished prayer requests and consciously starting out with one phrase that changes the whole moment.  Esther said it well, “If I have found favor in the King’s eyes, and if it pleases the King to give me what I ask of him.”

I think I finally figured out that this kind of prayer always wins.  If God delights in my request He grants it to me.  If God has a better plan, I win by being spared circumstances that weren’t for my good. 

Our lives don’t belong to us if we have surrendered our heart to God.  True surrender shows by your requests.  Are they driven by selfish motives?  Mine sure have been.  True surrender shows by your reaction when God gives you the answer you might not like.  I’d like to say I’ve always reacted perfectly.  I’d be lying.  You’d quit following my blog.  (or at least you should)

Psalms 37:4 Says, “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  God isn’t a genie.  You don’t rub a magic lamp, God pops out, you make a wish and it comes true.  Why do we treat this verse this way?  I believe a person truly delighting themselves in the Lord has the desires of their heart planted in them by God.  The last handful of years I have tried so hard to just focus on the first part of this verse. 

We were bought with a price.  Blood.  It can’t be undone.  It’s forever.  My desires sacrificed are so mild in comparison. 


♪♫♪ "Teach me to love like You.  Break my heart for what breaks Yours"  -Hosanna by Hillsong United ♪♫♪

Proverbs 3:5-10 (MSG)

Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
   don't try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
   He's the one who will keep you on track.
Don't assume that you know it all.
   Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
   your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
   give Him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
   your wine vats will brim over.

The above verse I know to be true.  No one could convince me otherwise.  I challenge you to experience the same.  It’s worth it. More than you can imagine.

Just ask Esther.  She went from an unknown orphan to a famous queen in history. 

lessons from singleness

I’m not an expert and in the grand scheme of life I haven’t really been single that long.  Seven years and counting.  It’s a miracle I can even write that because some days, it feels like forever.  Good thing emotions aren’t true reality.  Thankfully circumstances are temporary.  Here’s some random lessons I’ve learned.  However, I’ll start with the most important of all.

1.)  God is enough.

He HAS to be.  A husband and a baby or kids aren’t everything. You see I was lost in my identity in being a wife and mom.  I was consumed.  From a little girl it was all I wanted to be when I grew up.  It was an idol.  I have a purpose greater than those two titles in the world.  To further the kingdom of God!  However He sees best for me to do that I faithfully need to do.

2.)   Alone time is priceless; it’s productive; it’s necessary.

Do you hear that?  It’s quiet.  I’ve grown to LOVE it.  It’s one of those things that I would redo if I could.  Get more alone time.  My personality is a sanguine (outgoing and social).  Man do I love hosting people over, attending a party or just hanging out with family or a girlfriend.  I book up quick!  The younger me was never alone.  I was afraid to be alone.  The new me has gone to a movie alone & enjoyed it.  Not because no one was available but because I wanted to.  I’ve stayed in a hotel room away just for me.  I’d say I’ve made progress. 

3.)   I don’t need a husband, but I would like one.

I have an amazing church, job, house, land, car, scrapbook room……you fill in the blank.  I am extremely blessed.  I can make it on my own.  To be honest from the material things perspective I’ve done better single than when I was married.  The only debt I have is my mortgage.  I’m in the biggest house I’ve ever lived in. ETC ETC.  I would gladly give it all up tomorrow if saying “I do” required it.  However, Mr. Right is going to be worth it.  I bring a lot to the table. This brings me to the next point.

4.) Know your value

I know my worth.  I’ve worked hard at it. I don’t mean in a conceded or prideful way.  Please don’t take it this way.  I just mean don’t settle for just a man (or woman) just to be blessed married.  It’s not worth it.  I’ll stay single until God calls me home or comes back Himself.  Marriage is tons of work and I’ve said all along, the man I marry will be worth all that work.  Instead of making a mile long list of what he should have, I’ve put more energy into what I should bring.  It’s more rewarding that way. 

5.) Don’t wait around until “then”

Check things off your “bucket list” now.  Don’t sit around for him/her.  Buy that house.  Go on that vacation.  My next to do item is a missionary trip with my teenager.   Those plans are in the works.  Find your individual purpose.  I promise you it’s not just being a wife/husband and/or a parent.  I can’t tell you how many times I have said to my girlfriend or have thought to myself, when would I have time to date?  Time flies when you’re having fun.  Don’t waste today dreaming for “when.”

Being single has been worth every minute.  I’m convinced I could have never grown any other way.  God is good like that.  He knows just what we need to go through.  Trust Him, right where you are at.  Right down the path you are on.  Trust me, there’s a bend or a new road soon.  For me, as long as I’m not going backwards then things are looking up.

……….to be continued.

no vacancy

Boundaries are healthy.  Boundaries are necessary.  Boundaries are no good unless you enforce them.

Once upon a time there was this girl.  She wasn’t liked by a certain few and their mission in life seemed to be to make her life miserable.  What a sad state of purpose for someone’s day.  They said cruel things behind her back.  They said cruel things to her face.  They purposefully thought of ways to make her day hard.  Words hurt more than sticks and stones.  She took a lot of verbal abuse. 

One of my all time favorite movies is Pretty Woman.  I could probably recite a great deal of the movie if I really wanted to.  It’s the ultimate story of girl gets rescued by a boy and her life is truly changed.  Why I like it so much is that the underdog wins.

One of my favorite scenes in the movie is when Richard Gere is telling Julia Roberts that she is very bright and very special. She is says, “People put you down enough, you start to believe it. The bad stuff is easier to believe. You ever notice that?” 

Satan is the perfect liar.  He’s determined to convince you to believe the “bad” stuff about you.  If you listen long enough and entertain him, you’ll start to believe it. 

Healthy boundaries are life changing.

The girl in my story got some very sound advice and someone asked her why she rented space in her brain to those mean girls.  That is pure wisdom right there!

Don’t give in!  

Satan is out to kill, steal and destroy.  Don’t rent any space to him.  Don’t even entertain the thoughts he throws at you and dwell on them.  Go to the Word, see what God says about you and remind Satan what your creator said about you. 

God designed you, He knows the real you.  See what He sees in His love letter to you.

If you don’t know your value, you’ll believe anything.

Remind yourself that you were His idea……..

lawn maintenance & other failures of mine

Fail.

I’m pretty sure I get an “F” in the yard maintenance category of life.  My yard is a hot mess. Yard work is not my favorite thing to do.  My motto is if you water the lawn you have to mow it so don’t water it. My yard is natural. Whatever God placed here is all I need.  I even gave away my lawn mower after it sat idle for three summers.  This way I figure I guarantee I’ll never get the bug to have any grass.  I have no lawn mower.  I like flowers and I can manage perennials.  Some landscaping is in my future with rocks and some bushes but I’ll keep it pretty simple.

I’ll save my time for other things in life that are more important to me.   I’m happy with my yard.  After all it’s mine.  Some people are just blessed with a green thumb and it is a beautiful hobby.  It’s just not mine.

Spiritually speaking……

“If the grass is greener on the other side, it’s time to start watering your own lawn.”

I’m not exactly sure where I first heard this phrase or I would give credit to the author. 

I LOVE IT. 

Why do we compare our “lawns” to everyone else’s?  Whether it is stuff, a job, position, ministry, car, spouse, etc.  Discontentment is complaining about what you do have and also complaining about what you don’t have.  Take a step back and listen, really listen.  Before you desire a new this or that ask yourself,  “Have I been faithful with what I have been given?”  “Have I been thankful for what I’ve been blessed with.” 

Before I purchased my 3600 sq ft house with 7.5 acres and more toilets than I’ve ever had, I came from a tiny rental house.  It was maybe 900 sq ft.  There were only 4 rooms.  Kitchen, living room, bathroom and I shared the bedroom with my son.  Now we have 4 bedrooms alone and there’s only 2 of us.

What these two houses have in common, I was just as content there as I am now. Sure I’m excited I have more room to have more friends over and host more parties.  And let’s not forget my scrapbook room.  BUT, I was just as thankful in that tiny precious house that was all mine that God provided for us as I am today.  (and no, I didn’t water the lawn at the small house either)

What I can tell you is it is just stuff.  God has entrusted me with it and while I have the blessing of taking care of it, I will.  If I move in future, all that will change is my address.

Be content.  Learn it.  Strive for it.  If you need to, apply some Miracle Grow.  Just work at it. 

Matthew 5:5 (MSG) - You're blessed when you're content with just who you are-no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought."

i can see clearly now

A little light on the subject sure does help a girl out.  Let me tell you about my procrastination and how simple the remedy to my problem really was.

The home I purchased had a refrigerator that came with the house.  This refrigerator had no light bulb inside so when you opened the door to the fridge it was completely dark.  This made it difficult to find what you were looking for.  It also hid the cleanliness of my glass shelves.  This wasn’t so bad during the day but at night it required an extra step to turn the main kitchen light on.  It also required extra electricity.  

Embarrassingly enough I have procrastinated fixing this for 3.5 years.  Silly.  In my defense I purchased a light bulb once and it ending up being the wrong kind.  So, I guess I gave up again.  Still so silly why it sat unresolved.

Fast forward to when I purchased an antique china hutch from an auction for my formal dinning room.  The previous owner included a spare light bulb in one of the drawers that fit the upper section.  This looks so beautiful at night when it is turned on and makes my china and crystal sparkle. 

The sad part……..

A friend came over and went to put something away in my fridge and asked if it wasn’t working because no light came on.  I said something to the sound of “It’s not broke I just haven’t replaced the bulb.”  This made me realize how silly this was of me. 

As one of my favorite animated characters, Gru, would say “LIGHT BULB.”

I got a “bright” idea.  I should try the extra light bulb from the china hutch on the fridge and see if it works. 

Guess what?  It sure did.  A little light on the subject sure is nice.

God so gently reminded me of the importance of consistently reading His word.  It is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. 

Psalms 139:23 & 24 [MSG]

Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.

The heart is very corrupt.  We are liable to deceive ourselves.  We have a conflict of interest when we leave it to ourselves to search our own heart.  If we let God thoroughly search our hearts it is for our benefit, not His.  He already knows what is contained in there and loves us unconditionally. 

Sometimes God may use a close friend, family member or a spouse to reveal to us a condition in our heart.  Test and try this before the Lord for yourself.  If He confirms it in you then your best bet is to correct it .

A little light on the subject matter of the heart sure exposes what is on the “shelf.” 

convenience will cost you

 So I was in a hurry.  I paid way too much!!!!  I had an honest motive but I was in a hurry.  I wanted to bake a dessert for homegroup and I was tired.  I was home from work at 5:45, dinner cleaned up by 6:30.  I was searching through the cookbooks for ideas, list made and off to the store. It was 7:30.  I just wanted to relax and usually baking is relaxing for me…..normally.  But, I was in a hurry. I paid way too much for premade cookie dough.  I had no coupon & it wasn't on sale. Let me truthfully tell you all these ingredients I had at home.  They were ready and waiting, they just needed to be combined together in the proper order, a little time and I would arrive at the same result as that package of dough from the store. 

As I was unpacking the groceries, eager to get the dough baking, the Lord speaks to me, "Convenience will cost you."  Why did I do it……..pay that much?  I used tiredness as an excuse. I really did want to make a dessert for homegroup.  I was just going about it the lazy way.  I would have had to clean up the kitchen again and I just wanted the easiest path to arrive at the same promised destination. Convenience will cost you.  Did I end up with a dessert? Yes.  Could I have arrived there with less of a price tag? Yes. 

I even bought other products that trip on a whim, no forethought.  Items I could have clipped a coupon for and didn't. Or waited till they went on sale.  Why, too much time…… Did I have the money, sure.  I didn't bother to simply wait AND the items cost me MORE!

I joke about cookie dough…….I don't joke about sin.  Are you guilty of rushing the Lord's plan for your life?  He might have cookie dough for you (i.e. job, spouse, home, dream) and you might rush it too quickly.  Will it cost you?  Just ask King David.  Did God bless him, sure.  Did it cost him? Lots!  Pray for wisdom, guidance and God's timing most of all. 

Nobody signs up for a commitment and says "Yes, I can't wait for the really hard part where my patience and dedication are tested. Oh, I can't wait to see how much I can endure."  No we say, "Where is the short cut?  Where is the convenience of the microwave?" Or store bought cookie dough.

Oh, and I'd bet the quick, store bought, cookie dough didn't taste as good as the homemade recipe would have.  Enjoy God's recipe, it's worth waiting for.