lessons from singleness

I’m not an expert and in the grand scheme of life I haven’t really been single that long.  Seven years and counting.  It’s a miracle I can even write that because some days, it feels like forever.  Good thing emotions aren’t true reality.  Thankfully circumstances are temporary.  Here’s some random lessons I’ve learned.  However, I’ll start with the most important of all.

1.)  God is enough.

He HAS to be.  A husband and a baby or kids aren’t everything. You see I was lost in my identity in being a wife and mom.  I was consumed.  From a little girl it was all I wanted to be when I grew up.  It was an idol.  I have a purpose greater than those two titles in the world.  To further the kingdom of God!  However He sees best for me to do that I faithfully need to do.

2.)   Alone time is priceless; it’s productive; it’s necessary.

Do you hear that?  It’s quiet.  I’ve grown to LOVE it.  It’s one of those things that I would redo if I could.  Get more alone time.  My personality is a sanguine (outgoing and social).  Man do I love hosting people over, attending a party or just hanging out with family or a girlfriend.  I book up quick!  The younger me was never alone.  I was afraid to be alone.  The new me has gone to a movie alone & enjoyed it.  Not because no one was available but because I wanted to.  I’ve stayed in a hotel room away just for me.  I’d say I’ve made progress. 

3.)   I don’t need a husband, but I would like one.

I have an amazing church, job, house, land, car, scrapbook room……you fill in the blank.  I am extremely blessed.  I can make it on my own.  To be honest from the material things perspective I’ve done better single than when I was married.  The only debt I have is my mortgage.  I’m in the biggest house I’ve ever lived in. ETC ETC.  I would gladly give it all up tomorrow if saying “I do” required it.  However, Mr. Right is going to be worth it.  I bring a lot to the table. This brings me to the next point.

4.) Know your value

I know my worth.  I’ve worked hard at it. I don’t mean in a conceded or prideful way.  Please don’t take it this way.  I just mean don’t settle for just a man (or woman) just to be blessed married.  It’s not worth it.  I’ll stay single until God calls me home or comes back Himself.  Marriage is tons of work and I’ve said all along, the man I marry will be worth all that work.  Instead of making a mile long list of what he should have, I’ve put more energy into what I should bring.  It’s more rewarding that way. 

5.) Don’t wait around until “then”

Check things off your “bucket list” now.  Don’t sit around for him/her.  Buy that house.  Go on that vacation.  My next to do item is a missionary trip with my teenager.   Those plans are in the works.  Find your individual purpose.  I promise you it’s not just being a wife/husband and/or a parent.  I can’t tell you how many times I have said to my girlfriend or have thought to myself, when would I have time to date?  Time flies when you’re having fun.  Don’t waste today dreaming for “when.”

Being single has been worth every minute.  I’m convinced I could have never grown any other way.  God is good like that.  He knows just what we need to go through.  Trust Him, right where you are at.  Right down the path you are on.  Trust me, there’s a bend or a new road soon.  For me, as long as I’m not going backwards then things are looking up.

……….to be continued.