premature enjoyment

God’s timing is the best, period!  When you try to enjoy something premature, you don’t get all of the benefits. 

I was so excited when construction on my deck began I could hardly stand it.  Now, let me explain so you understand my excitement.  I lived in a house for three summers with a beautiful backyard and a space where an existing deck used to be.   It had to be torn down because of poor planning.  All of that work, time and money – WASTED! Getting ahead of God and not letting Him direct your steps will cost you lots of work, time and money.  We don’t plan near as well as God does.  “Unless God builds the house, they labor in vain.”

A huge slider door was off the family room waiting to be used with no deck to walk out on.  How sad.  The view looking out the sliders I thoroughly enjoy.  God and I have had many conversations overlooking my beautiful back yard.  I’ve spent many hours, laying on the floor in front of these sliders reading books, having coffee with God and reading my Bible.  I could have enjoyed so much more with a deck there. 

….Back to the deck construction.  About half the boards were across the width of the deck big enough for a lounge chair.   I was so excited I couldn’t stand it.  Yup, you guessed it, I got up there to enjoy the partial deck.  I had my fan out, lounge chair, book and a big glass of ice tea & a beautiful hot sun just waiting to give me some vitamin D.

While I’m enjoying the view from a whole new angle, God speaks to me and says, “When you try to enjoy something premature, you don’t get all the benefits.”   Immediately I think oops, what have I missed out on?  Are there areas in my life I have rushed into and thought was so exciting I just jumped ahead of God.  Now, I’m not saying I didn’t get a nice tan, have a relaxing afternoon by myself or enjoy the view.  What I am saying is, it took a little more effort to enjoy the partial deck, since there were no steps to it yet.  The boards weren’t close enough to the house to walk out onto from the sliders yet.  There were no planters with beautiful flowers out yet, no rails, no table & chairs.  Just a partial deck in very early construction was all there was.  There was way more work to be done to enjoy all the benefits.

lessons from singleness cont.

6.) Buy yourself presents. Because it's fun. Because you can.

I have a habit of doing this. I'm making up for lost time. I don’t know why but I use to feel guilty for buying myself things. I would always spend money on the house, husband, son etc. Very rarely did I buy myself a present. Not clothes or something to use in the kitchen but just because I wanted it. My scrapbook room proves otherwise now.  It’s the first hobby that I’ve seriously had. Only I use it in the house and do it simply because I enjoy it.

7.) Go on dates with God.

I've booked a date with God on my calendar many times. He's the perfect match. He never stands you up. He keeps His word. His gifts you never want to return. They are perfect. He is faithful. He's committed to you for eternity.

8.) Help someone. Help many.

News update: you aren't going through a circumstance or have gone through something just for yourself. I was amazed how quickly God brought me women to help go through the same situation I was going through. I started opening up and sharing with people while I was going through my divorce and was amazed how many women sought me out for help, advice, prayer and just input.

Satan tries to make you isolate yourself with depression. You turn inward. When you help others you aren’t focused on yourself. Serving others helps you heal. It’s a beautiful thing all the way around. Try it.

9.) We are a family.

It took me a very long time to get this. Maybe it's not hard for you. It was for me. I couldn't think of my son and I as a family. It was broken. For the longest time I had a scrapbook album to fill and the cover said “Family” on it. I avoided using it because I didn’t feel like we were a family. It now contains vacation pictures Bryce & I took with friends to beautiful South Carolina.

10.) It's not a disease.

People will constantly try to set you up. They mean well. Dating to fill up an evening or get a free meal isn't for me. My time is valuable. Some may not understand being content single. You CAN go to an event alone. It’s okay.

story facts. (an oxymoron)

I was a senior in high school and got in my first fender-bender on the way to school.  I was turning left onto the road and another lady was turning right and BAM, we hit.  I still remember it to this day.  What I remember the most about that accident was that the officer interviewed the lady first and then came over to me and started writing out the ticket to me.  It was my fault.  I’ll take the blame.  It was an accident totally and that’s just a part of life. 

What I discovered was life isn’t fair.

The officer never bothered to ask me my side of the story, EVER.  He just wrote out the ticket and it was done.  I remember being upset, not that is was going down in history as my fault, but that he never even asked my side of the story. 

How many times do we make a conclusion about a person, situation or “story” without talking to that person directly or hearing both sides of the situation?  I admit I do it much more than I should.  This experience came back to my memory after I drew a conclusion about a situation without knowing all the facts.   How unfair that was.  Assuming can get you into a lot of trouble.  It can also make you look really, really silly. 

Whoops.

I’ve heard someone say “It’s easier to be the first to speak up than to defend something later.”  However, if you hear someone’s side of the story first it doesn’t make it the truth.  

We all know what it is like to be on the receiving end of being misjudged.  We all have been accused wrongly of something I’m sure.  It doesn’t feel the best. 

Love does not have to prove itself right.

Let them talk.  Don’t talk about them.

It amazes me how quick we believe something because we were told this is how it is.  One of the most important lessons I believe my parents taught me when it came to Christianity is to do my own research.  Don’t take any preacher’s word, youth pastor or guest speaker as “truth” without consulting The Truth.  Find that verse for yourself.  Dig and then dig some more.  “Be ready to give an answer for the hope that is within you.”  This doesn’t mean your Grandma’s hope or your Dad’s hope, but your OWN hope.  One of my new favorite lines from a book I read is “God doesn’t have any grandchildren, only children.”  

Investigate.  Do your research.