So this is *Love Month*...

Welcome to February!

I know, right?
If you are single, February can bring a flood of emotions, thoughts, dreams, etc. Or, you may be in a relationship and as lonely as you have ever felt.
Honestly, I would pick being truly single any day over an empty relationship just to have a status.  Just ask me about the last 12 years of my life as a single adult.  Then ask me about the former 10 years of marriage.  

 

If you find yourself in the midst of a lonely relationship, first and foremost pray, pray and pray some more.  I encourage you to dig deep within yourself.   Sow into others. Ask God for wisdom.  Invite the Holy Spirit into the situation.  

In reality, for the past 12 years the desire to be a wife really never left. 

Reread that last sentence.  

My emphasis here is not on what I would gain, but who I was most certainly created by my heavenly Father to BE.  

I went through a few years where I didn't even want to look at a guy.  I didn't hate them, but my
heart said *no.*  Good thing I listened to my heart because it needing healing.  It needed healing, but also I really took advantage of the pain to learn something.
I wanted to study myself. 

I wrote this letter three years ago. I now feel led to share it with you.  May it touch your heart, and please share it if you know someone it may encourage.

Here is my raw, teary-eyed, by-faith, Spirit-led letter.

Dear Husband,

I'm waiting.

I don't know you yet, but I love you.  I have asked God for you.  He has placed the desire in my heart to be a gift.  I've been preparing my heart for you for years.  Through my 12 single years I've discovered who I am.  I've also learned who I want to become.  I've been studying for the biggest test of my life.  Being a wife.  It's work.  Whoever you are will have won my hand in marriage because you are worth all the work.  All of the passing time waiting for you will be not wasted.  I'm not desperate.  I've studied how to be content.  I had to purpose to be content or I would have fallen for anyone.  I would have a marriage but also maybe misery.  A ring isn't the prize.  A man isn't the prize.  Being married to simply *be married* IS NOT the prize.  

Fulfilling my purpose of who God designed me to be and not focusing on what I get...that is THE prize.  

To be a gift.  

I've learned I will attract the man I think I'm worth.  So, I'm focusing on me and not so much on what you need to do for me.  I'm studying how I can serve you before you even meet me. 

My prayer has been repeatedly, "Lord, let my adoration and devotion for you be the most beautiful thing about me."  My prayer has been that you would be a man who does not want to break God's heart because His heart is more important than mine.  How you treat me will simply fall under that.  How you treat His daughter will please or break his heart.  How you lead our home will please or break his heart.  Will you seek out what He has for us, follow Him and make decisions based on His desires -- not mine or yours?  Will you listen when He chooses to speak through me?

I am excited to meet you but I'm not in a hurry.  I don't need you, I simply desire you. 

I'm waiting.

Can I challenge you?  Still hope!  Still dream!  Still pursue the desire!

...and wait. 

Can I challenge you to sow into others relationships to reap in your future relationship?
GIVE!  Take your eyes off of you. One practical thing I've done through the years is offer free babysitting to a couple so they can enjoy a Valentine's Day out.

But promise me one thing with everything within your power, choice, and ability, {for the love}
PLEASE CONTINUE ON LIVING YOUR DAILY LIFE TO THE FULLEST!