You are my hero. Your super hero cape is invisible.
Your shift never ends. You may never hear thank you. You may not even
get a Mother’s Day present because no one thought to help your child
with one (been there). You do everything on a day-in and day-out basis
alone. If you’re a single mother who works outside the home, I feel your pain.
Summer time comes every year and it breaks my heart.
I am at the office while my favorite guy is home without me. It is one
of the hardest things for me personally. I remind myself often of how
blessed I am with a job, a really good one. I try to stay content right
where God has me for this season. I don’t always do so great.
No one other than a fellow single mom will be able to relate to the
feeling of being physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.
Because if we don’t do
(fill in the blank with pretty much anything here), it doesn’t get done. Sometimes even thinking of whom to ask for help is exhausting, let alone getting it done. Honest.
God designed children to be created from a man and a woman. He
intended for them to be raised by both. Now I know why. Death
happens. Divorce happens. Circumstances that weren’t planned happen in
life and then result in single parenting. It doesn’t change the
workload needed to raise those babies by yourself. One of a single moms
biggest fears is the lack of a stable male role model for her children.
One of my prayers was that God would bring Godly men into my son’s
life to show him how to be a faithful man, husband, and father. He
answered my prayers by providing an awesome Grandpa, Uncle and friends
that speak wisdom into his life and lead by example. They have been
there for me to help nurture my son into a Godly young man. It is
necessary to have influence from the opposite sex if you are a single
mom to a boy. Guys get guy “stuff” and they need each other. Man to
man. If the father isn’t in the picture or isn’t taking his role
seriously,
God can redeem that. Remind your child
there is a Father in heaven who loves them more than even you do. Also,
pray that God will send men with character and integrity into their
lives to fill the male void that you cannot.
When single parenting was new to me, I was overwhelmed.
What I did find time to do, by making it a priority, was daily getting before God and ASKING for help. Asking for wisdom.
Worship was my lifeline.
There were hours when all I would do was sit on my floor by my
stereo and weep and pray before my Jesus. He sustained me. He
continues to do that as I seek Him. Each chapter of your child’s life
brings new struggles, as well as joy. The teen years are so fun and a
great challenge with a mother and a father in the home. The teen years
alone are a lot more work. It has taught me the meaning of unconditional
love. It has taught me how to be a servant. It has humbled me when I
needed to ask my son for forgiveness for messing up. If you are in this
phase, continually ask God for creative ways to show your teen how you
can love them. The best advice I once heard was,
“Ask your teen what his/her favorite thing to do with you is…….and do it as much as possible!”
One thing I would also like to encourage single mothers out there to do is to
take time for YOURSELF.
It is absolutely necessary. Don’t feel guilty about it. Just contact
me if you need a pep talk. SERIOUSLY! Maintain a healthy balance of
your identity and remember you!
BE ENCOURAGED TODAY.
God understands. He sees. He knows. He listens. He provides.
My encouragement to you is don’t try to do everything but do what
truly matters. Ask God for direction, discernment and discipline. Your
babies are your priority. Everything else, is just extra. Providing
financially for them is a priority but don’t let that overtake the
priority of being available for them. Time is one thing that you will
never get back. Money can be made over and over again.
So take off that cape, wash it, iron it and wear it again and do it well! God is on your side.
You were His idea.
Don’t forget to spend alone time with Him. This is where you will draw
your strength. I have read numerous books and articles. I have
listened to hours of Podcasts and read many devotionals. Get all the
help you can.
An extra dose of encouragement for single moms with very young
children: My son, who is now thinking about college, wrote me a letter
that made all the tears I ever cried in times of exhaustion worth
shedding. In the letter he said, “Mom, I don’t know why but God allowed
me to be raised by a single mom for a reason. I know God is building
both of us up for something great. I appreciate all you do and see the
sacrifice you make even if I don’t always show it.” I need to get this
letter out a little more often and remind myself that
God will redeem a “broken” home.
When the pressure of single parenting is too much for me to handle,
this letter reminds me that God does have a plan for me and my child.
Because we love Him, all things will work together according to His
purpose and not our own.
“All
things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for
those who love God and are called according to [His] design and
purpose.” Romans 8:28 {AMP}