To my fellow single mothers:

You are my hero.  Your super hero cape is invisible.  Your shift never ends.  You may never hear thank you.  You may not even get a Mother’s Day present because no one thought to help your child with one (been there).  You do everything on a day-in and day-out basis alone.  If you’re a single mother who works outside the home, I feel your pain.  Summer time comes every year and it breaks my heart.  I am at the office while my favorite guy is home without me.  It is one of the hardest things for me personally.  I remind myself often of how blessed I am with a job, a really good one.  I try to stay content right where God has me for this season.  I don’t always do so great. No one other than a fellow single mom will be able to relate to the feeling of being physically, emotionally and mentally exhausted.  Because if we don’t do (fill in the blank with pretty much anything here), it doesn’t get done.  Sometimes even thinking of whom to ask for help is exhausting, let alone getting it done. Honest.

God designed children to be created from a man and a woman.  He intended for them to be raised by both.  Now I know why.  Death happens.  Divorce happens.  Circumstances that weren’t planned happen in life and then result in single parenting.  It doesn’t change the workload needed to raise those babies by yourself.  One of a single moms biggest fears is the lack of a stable male role model for her children.   One of my prayers was that God would bring Godly men into my son’s life to show him how to be a faithful man, husband, and father.  He answered my prayers by providing an awesome Grandpa, Uncle and friends that speak wisdom into his life and lead by example.  They have been there for me to help nurture my son into a Godly young man.  It is necessary to have influence from the opposite sex if you are a single mom to a boy.  Guys get guy “stuff” and they need each other.  Man to man.  If the father isn’t in the picture or isn’t taking his role seriously, God can redeem that.  Remind your child there is a Father in heaven who loves them more than even you do.  Also, pray that God will send men with character and integrity into their lives to fill the male void that you cannot.

When single parenting was new to me, I was overwhelmed.  What I did find time to do, by making it a priority, was daily getting before God and ASKING for help.  Asking for wisdom.  Worship was my lifeline.  There were hours when all I would do was sit on my floor by my stereo and weep and pray before my Jesus.  He sustained me.  He continues to do that as I seek Him.  Each chapter of your child’s life brings new struggles, as well as joy.  The teen years are so fun and a great challenge with a mother and a father in the home.  The teen years alone are a lot more work.  It has taught me the meaning of unconditional love.  It has taught me how to be a servant.  It has humbled me when I needed to ask my son for forgiveness for messing up.  If you are in this phase, continually ask God for creative ways to show your teen how you can love them.  The best advice I once heard was, “Ask your teen what his/her favorite thing to do with you is…….and do it as much as possible!”

One thing I would also like to encourage single mothers out there to do is to take time for YOURSELF.  It is absolutely necessary.  Don’t feel guilty about it.  Just contact me if you need a pep talk.  SERIOUSLY!  Maintain a healthy balance of your identity and remember you!

BE ENCOURAGED TODAY.

God understands.  He sees.  He knows.  He listens.  He provides. 

My encouragement to you is don’t try to do everything but do what truly matters.  Ask God for direction, discernment and discipline.  Your babies are your priority.  Everything else, is just extra.  Providing financially for them is a priority but don’t let that overtake the priority of being available for them.  Time is one thing that you will never get back.  Money can be made over and over again.
So take off that cape, wash it, iron it and wear it again and do it well!  God is on your side.  You were His idea. Don’t forget to spend alone time with Him.  This is where you will draw your strength.  I have read numerous books and articles.  I have listened to hours of Podcasts and read many devotionals.  Get all the help you can.

An extra dose of encouragement for single moms with very young children:  My son, who is now thinking about college, wrote me a letter that made all the tears I ever cried in times of exhaustion worth shedding.  In the letter he said, “Mom, I don’t know why but God allowed me to be raised by a single mom for a reason.  I know God is building both of us up for something great.  I appreciate all you do and see the sacrifice you make even if I don’t always show it.”  I need to get this letter out a little more often and remind myself that God will redeem a “broken” home.  When the pressure of single parenting is too much for me to handle,  this letter reminds me that God does have a plan for me and my child.  Because we love Him, all things will work together according to His purpose and not our own.

“All things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.” Romans 8:28 {AMP}