why the why?

Do you ever notice that?  Why do we ask God “why” when something tragic happens?

Let me tell you a story.

When Bryce was young our family went on a road trip.  We were on our way to the annual Strickler family camping trip up north for more memories.  It was a long car ride for a little one and he started asking fairly soon into the trip if we were there yet.  I’m sure we’ve all done that.  I know I did.  His Dad had a great answer that I will never forget.  As we were driving down the highway, he answered, “Yes.”  This puzzled Bryce because it was obvious even to a little tike we weren’t stopping.  In his wisdom Bryce asked, “Then why aren’t we stopping?”  Dad answered something like this, “If we aren’t stopped then we haven’t arrived there yet.”  After a few more times, it finally sunk in to Bryce’s mind that asking the question over and over didn’t get him the result he wanted.  It didn’t get him to his destination any earlier.

His Dad was teaching him a lesson.

P.A.T.I.E.N.C.E.

Your Daddy might be trying to teach you the same lesson. 

To answer my opening question, I forget He’s proven Himself trustworthy.  In that moment anyway, I forget.  I come back to reality and tell myself I know that I know that I know He is trustworthy.  If I see Him as trustworthy I wouldn’t even care what the answer was, would I?

Jesus never asked in scripture His Father the question why He had to die on the cross.  The only request He had was if there was another way out but even so let His will be done. 

He didn’t demand an explanation.  God doesn’t owe us one.  He’s God.  He knows the beginning from the end.  He created the beginning and wrote the whole story since then. 

He’s in control.  He’s got the whole world in His hands.  Man chose sin and therefore this world became corrupt, period.  God didn’t make us all puppets and force us to love Him and obey like robots.  Why don’t people get mad at the source, which is our enemy but instead shake their hand at God and become angry? 

It works.  Getting mad at Satan and relying on your Daddy.  I know.  Just recently Satan was out to kill, steal and destroy an area in my life.  You know what I did?  I got on my face, laughed at Satan and told him to watch out and see God be my source.  Do you believe within less than 24 hours MY Daddy did just that?  Yup.  He’s never late. 

So, this ‘road trip’ you are on, try just resting in God for His faithfulness.  His timing is perfect and never late.  His reason isn’t your concern, just your obedience.

true love isn't blind

Once upon a time there was a man and a woman.  They fell in love.  They got married.  The end.

Huh?

Fairy tales pretty much portray love with most of the story being the courtship and “They lived happily ever after.”  ANY of you who have been married before or are married know the courtship usually is the part where you are on your best behavior.  Your “love” is blind as the common phrase says.  I put love in quotation marks because at this point you are only going on few facts that you love this person. 

What I want to focus on is the continual CHOICE to love a person after you truly SEE all their faults, all their mistakes and when the years change them.  True love isn’t blind at all.

What if someone wrote a fairy tale about after you say “I do?”……………

Let me tell you one.

The husband is a real life hero in my book.  He is the true expression of a servant.  You know that phrase in vows at most weddings where it says “In sickness and in health?”

How many of you truly think sickness is going to require your sacrifice?   It may be weeks, months and years of serving your true love.  You said, “I do” to it, remember?

When a physical condition altered his wife’s lifestyle, he chose to stay with her and stick by her side.  He serves his wife on a daily basis.  Somehow daily doesn’t even describe it.  Most days it is moment by moment.  I have seen him give his time, money, talent, etc. to bless her.  Could you alter your lifestyle, your home, and your heart for another human being for the rest of your life? 

Let’s give her some credit too.  She has to truly trust her husband.  She relies on his faithfulness to her.  She continually needs him. 

Making a sacrifice for another person requires you to see what they need and acting on it.  

Why cheapen love by being saying it’s blind?  I think it’s a better picture of true love when someone sees you in the worst of the worst and loves you in spite of it.  Sometimes this is a physical condition.  Sometimes this is a heart condition.  They may even truly love you enough to speak the truth to you in love about some changing you might need to consider. 

That’s what my Savior did for me.  He knew I needed Him.  He knew I was a wreck without Him.  He knew I’d live for eternity separated from Him and gave Himself COMPLETELY to me.  He sent his own son to die on my behalf.  He sees me and loves me in my selfishness. 

He isn’t blind at all. 

What if you approached love this way?  Will you choose to see someone’s faults and make another choice to love them still?

my father, my friend

So I didn’t get my Dad a Father’s Day card this year……….because I couldn’t fit everything all in.  So I dedicate this blog post to him. 

My hero.  Co-worker.  Elder.  Sushi partner.  Neighbor.  Shopping buddy.  Counselor.  Mechanic.  Rescuer.  Comedian……but the most dear to me, my friend.

I don’t know how I got so lucky being born to an amazing Dad, but I’m thankful God picked me to fulfill this role, his daughter. 

I have had some great memories with my Dad.  Things like on my 16^th birthday in Chicago eating at the Hard Rock Café and he leans over to some guest and asks, “Pardon me do you have any Grey Poupon.”  (as there is one on every table & acting like the classic commercial.)  Or the time him, my brother & I were at Wendy’s and he didn’t get any hamburger on his sandwich and he walked up to the counter and said, “Hey, where’s the beef?”  A certain car we had contained eight speakers and a great sound system and he would always roll down the windows and blare the music (as I would sink into my seat) and say, “Hey, I don’t want to just listen to the music, I want to BE THERE!”  I owe him a thank you for not getting easily embarrassed because, well, I overcame it in my childhood. 

One “date” he took me on when I was little I’ll never forget is at Kmart.  He bought me the coolest gloves and each finger had a different little puppet on it and I thought they were so cool. 

As an adult your relationship changes with your parents.  Some people run far away from their parents and their relationship dies.  Others become distant, as it is an easier way to have a relationship.  And others draw closer to them because a deep friendship can now grow.  I had an amazing childhood but as an adult I realize how blessed I am to have him as a father but more importantly a dear friend.

We have gone shopping together and out to sushi, just the two of us.  We go to lunch on a regular basis because we work together.  Dad and I occasionally carpool to work together as we are also neighbors.  All of these are great moments in the simple day of an ordinary life.  I wouldn’t change a thing.  Great conversations happen.  Great laughs.  Great advice given.

I’ve had the privilege of going on a mission trip with him and we’ve gone on some great vacations together as a family.  My Dad was my roller coaster buddy as a kid because that isn’t Mom’s thing.  From Wisconsin Dells go kart racing to Disney World, Bush Gardens, Cedar Point & Six Flags Great America, we’ve ridden a few together. 

I also get to watch him be one awesome Grandpa to a great kid.  This is beautiful because He is my son’s only Grandpa in his life and he’s right next door to us. 

I love you Dad. 

a tale of two drawers

A friend commented on my nicely organized kitchen drawer one day while I was making soup for the both of us.  BUT, I confessed I also had a messy one right next to it.

Let’s start with the small drawer.  This drawer is doing what it was created to do.  It takes time to find what I’m looking for.  It isn’t as nice to open & look at.  It is wasting a lot of space it was given.  Much more could be stored in here if a little time was taken, organized the drawer and maintained it. 

Now let’s look at the large drawer.  This one contains a lot of items.  At one glance I can pretty much see everything in it and know where everything is. It is easy to reach in and get just what I need.  It is nicely fulfilling its purpose isn’t it? Its well taken care of.

This got me thinking how many different kinds of kitchen utensils there are out there.  Kitchen gadgets are numerous and how many different gifts and personalities are in the body of Christ.

Jar opener:  Some of you need help getting your “lid” opened so others can enjoy the benefits of what has been contained inside, sitting on the shelf collecting dust.

Strainer:  Sometimes we need help sifting out the unwanted.  Unless you practice using your gift you never get to the good stuff.  Perfect it.  This takes time.

Sandwich press:  This one seals two pieces of bread together and contains the contents inside.  God has given us the pieces to put everything together BUT without the Holy Spirit it doesn’t stay intact.  We absolutely need Him to be a part of it.

Oven thermometer:  This one tells us we are right on.  We’re ready.  It is the word of God.  He will never contradict again his word.  If it is edification or a correction (which I see as an edification too) it will always line up with God’s word.  If you receive something for someone the most faithful thing you can do with it is to test it and bring it before God.  Don’t quench the spirit by disobeying Him and delivering something but you can also quench the spirit by ignoring a word for yourself.  You just might miss out.

Broken pitcher plunger:  This one has been broken. It isn’t fulfilling its purpose.  It needs the other pieces to function, to do its job.  I think this is one of the most important.  If it is all alone what good is it.  It really is useless.  Why do I have it still?  I can order replacement parts.  You can get plugged in again.  There is hope. 

Pie/cake server:  Be the gift of a servant to someone else.  When it cost you something.  Love others more than yourself.  It’s hard to love others more than us.  I’ve been working on just trying to love others 50% of the time as much as I love me and have failed. 

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Mark 14:3-5

Another piece of advice that is important is to ask God yourself and seek out from Him what you are to be faithful with.  Don’t let others alone tell you what you should do.

As a younger Christian I attended a church where I was told where to serve, what my gifts were and how they should be used. AKA what areas of ministry needed filling.  I listened to man and not God directly.

Romans 8:28

I am called according to God’s design and purpose.  NOT other’s purpose.

For me gifts are about a deeper relationship with God.  When I started talking to God and seeking Him for how He desired me to further His kingdom is when I started really growing in my relationship with Him.  I had much more peach and joy as well.  Don’t get me wrong, others should see be able to acknowledge and even encourage you what your gifts are but don’t let them alone tell you.  Ask God for yourself.

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The point is, do something.  Use what you have.  I can’t do your part.  You can’t do mine.  I answer for me.  You answer for you.  Tell the jar opener to sift.  It can’t.  Tell the thermometer to seal the items together.  It impossible.

Luke 19:26

………if you want to increase your drawer capacity be faithful with what you’ve been given.  If you want it taken away don’t listen. OUCH.

premature enjoyment

God’s timing is the best, period!  When you try to enjoy something premature, you don’t get all of the benefits. 

I was so excited when construction on my deck began I could hardly stand it.  Now, let me explain so you understand my excitement.  I lived in a house for three summers with a beautiful backyard and a space where an existing deck used to be.   It had to be torn down because of poor planning.  All of that work, time and money – WASTED! Getting ahead of God and not letting Him direct your steps will cost you lots of work, time and money.  We don’t plan near as well as God does.  “Unless God builds the house, they labor in vain.”

A huge slider door was off the family room waiting to be used with no deck to walk out on.  How sad.  The view looking out the sliders I thoroughly enjoy.  God and I have had many conversations overlooking my beautiful back yard.  I’ve spent many hours, laying on the floor in front of these sliders reading books, having coffee with God and reading my Bible.  I could have enjoyed so much more with a deck there. 

….Back to the deck construction.  About half the boards were across the width of the deck big enough for a lounge chair.   I was so excited I couldn’t stand it.  Yup, you guessed it, I got up there to enjoy the partial deck.  I had my fan out, lounge chair, book and a big glass of ice tea & a beautiful hot sun just waiting to give me some vitamin D.

While I’m enjoying the view from a whole new angle, God speaks to me and says, “When you try to enjoy something premature, you don’t get all the benefits.”   Immediately I think oops, what have I missed out on?  Are there areas in my life I have rushed into and thought was so exciting I just jumped ahead of God.  Now, I’m not saying I didn’t get a nice tan, have a relaxing afternoon by myself or enjoy the view.  What I am saying is, it took a little more effort to enjoy the partial deck, since there were no steps to it yet.  The boards weren’t close enough to the house to walk out onto from the sliders yet.  There were no planters with beautiful flowers out yet, no rails, no table & chairs.  Just a partial deck in very early construction was all there was.  There was way more work to be done to enjoy all the benefits.

lessons from singleness cont.

6.) Buy yourself presents. Because it's fun. Because you can.

I have a habit of doing this. I'm making up for lost time. I don’t know why but I use to feel guilty for buying myself things. I would always spend money on the house, husband, son etc. Very rarely did I buy myself a present. Not clothes or something to use in the kitchen but just because I wanted it. My scrapbook room proves otherwise now.  It’s the first hobby that I’ve seriously had. Only I use it in the house and do it simply because I enjoy it.

7.) Go on dates with God.

I've booked a date with God on my calendar many times. He's the perfect match. He never stands you up. He keeps His word. His gifts you never want to return. They are perfect. He is faithful. He's committed to you for eternity.

8.) Help someone. Help many.

News update: you aren't going through a circumstance or have gone through something just for yourself. I was amazed how quickly God brought me women to help go through the same situation I was going through. I started opening up and sharing with people while I was going through my divorce and was amazed how many women sought me out for help, advice, prayer and just input.

Satan tries to make you isolate yourself with depression. You turn inward. When you help others you aren’t focused on yourself. Serving others helps you heal. It’s a beautiful thing all the way around. Try it.

9.) We are a family.

It took me a very long time to get this. Maybe it's not hard for you. It was for me. I couldn't think of my son and I as a family. It was broken. For the longest time I had a scrapbook album to fill and the cover said “Family” on it. I avoided using it because I didn’t feel like we were a family. It now contains vacation pictures Bryce & I took with friends to beautiful South Carolina.

10.) It's not a disease.

People will constantly try to set you up. They mean well. Dating to fill up an evening or get a free meal isn't for me. My time is valuable. Some may not understand being content single. You CAN go to an event alone. It’s okay.

story facts. (an oxymoron)

I was a senior in high school and got in my first fender-bender on the way to school.  I was turning left onto the road and another lady was turning right and BAM, we hit.  I still remember it to this day.  What I remember the most about that accident was that the officer interviewed the lady first and then came over to me and started writing out the ticket to me.  It was my fault.  I’ll take the blame.  It was an accident totally and that’s just a part of life. 

What I discovered was life isn’t fair.

The officer never bothered to ask me my side of the story, EVER.  He just wrote out the ticket and it was done.  I remember being upset, not that is was going down in history as my fault, but that he never even asked my side of the story. 

How many times do we make a conclusion about a person, situation or “story” without talking to that person directly or hearing both sides of the situation?  I admit I do it much more than I should.  This experience came back to my memory after I drew a conclusion about a situation without knowing all the facts.   How unfair that was.  Assuming can get you into a lot of trouble.  It can also make you look really, really silly. 

Whoops.

I’ve heard someone say “It’s easier to be the first to speak up than to defend something later.”  However, if you hear someone’s side of the story first it doesn’t make it the truth.  

We all know what it is like to be on the receiving end of being misjudged.  We all have been accused wrongly of something I’m sure.  It doesn’t feel the best. 

Love does not have to prove itself right.

Let them talk.  Don’t talk about them.

It amazes me how quick we believe something because we were told this is how it is.  One of the most important lessons I believe my parents taught me when it came to Christianity is to do my own research.  Don’t take any preacher’s word, youth pastor or guest speaker as “truth” without consulting The Truth.  Find that verse for yourself.  Dig and then dig some more.  “Be ready to give an answer for the hope that is within you.”  This doesn’t mean your Grandma’s hope or your Dad’s hope, but your OWN hope.  One of my new favorite lines from a book I read is “God doesn’t have any grandchildren, only children.”  

Investigate.  Do your research.